A (chairman): I move that we immediately apply for TARP funds.
B: I second that motion. I have the phone number of some girls that really like to party.
A: That's TARP with a "P," not TART.
C: What does TARP stand for?
D: "Toxic Assets Relief Program."
E: I thought it stood for "Troubled Assets Relief Program."
F: It makes a big difference. While the enormity of our Brandy Snifter CD backlog is certainly troubling, we have no evidence of toxicity. We have no reported instances of any customers being poisoned by listening to any Lak-O-Tone recording.
E: But can we apply for relief of assets that are troubling rather than troubled?
[A recess was called while General Counsel tried unsuccessfully to find answers to the questions raised.]
A: Motion made, seconded and carried that we apply for $500 million
in TARP funds. Any suggestions where to first apply the relief funds?
B: Retention bonuses for the board members.
[General pandemonium, followed by the motion being passed unanimously.]
Following the motion to adjourn, the board met for an Excellence In Corporate Governance award celebration.