For Immediate Release
Matt Neffer

Lak-O-Tone Recordings today announced reorganization of the company, forming two divisions. Simple operations will be handled by the Short Division, while more difficult problems will be solved by the Long Division. The new divisions are named in memory of two noted Kentucky residents: George (Shortbuckle) Roark, banjoist from Pineville, and Jonathan (Long John) Dean, banking entrepreneur from Bowling Green.

The Long Division will be headed up by vice-president Matt Neffer (photo). "I'm excited about the challenges facing us," said Neffer. "We're going to do our best to reduce remainders to a minimum, and we won't rest until we've eliminated all improper fractions. And I promise that all our solutions will be rational."

Mr. Neffer said that the first order of business will be to modify the Corporate Vision and Mission Statements so they'll be relevant to the new organization. To meet the urgent need, he will soon appoint a Division Vision And Mission Revision Commission.

"We already have a lot on our plate," he said, "so we don't want to throw too many logs on the fire. Once we get all our ducks on the same page, we're going to just cut to the cheese and push the envelope outside the box. But we'll have to be careful about putting all our eggs in a dog that won't hunt,  throwing a monkey wrench into an apple cart that's already left the station."

Mr. Neffer previously headed the company's spot welding department, where he was the recipient of numerous national and international awards for his expertise.